The questions we don't always ask
What if I don’t know what to say?
That’s okay, it happens! You don’t need to come prepared for our sessions or know exactly what you want to talk about.
I’ll help you get started, and together we’ll find a direction for our conversation. Sometimes it takes a while to find the words, and that’s fine too.
What if I’m not ready to talk about something?
Then we don’t have to talk about it. There’s no pressure to share anything you’re not ready for. It’s important that you feel safe with me and that we build trust in our relationship. That takes time, and there’s no need to rush.
We can also talk about what makes something difficult to approach, without having to go into the details.
What if we don’t click?
It can happen! We don’t connect with everyone we meet, and counselling is no different.
I really appreciate honest feedback about how you’re experiencing our sessions. We can explore what doesn’t feel right, and sometimes these conversations lead to some of the most meaningful discoveries.
But sometimes we simply discover that we’re not the right fit for each other. That’s okay too! I can help you find another therapist or guide you in looking for someone who might be a better fit.
What if I feel judged?
Being open-minded and non-judgemental is hugely important to me. It’s something I continually work on, and I believe it’s at the heart of being a good counsellor.
But I’m human too. I have my own experiences, views and reactions.
If you ever feel judged by me, I’d really welcome you telling me. I’d want to understand what happened, reflect on my own response and take responsibility for my part in it.
And who knows, this might lead us to something important in our work together.
What if I disagree with you?
I’d be happy to hear it!
I don’t expect you to agree with me, and I certainly don’t assume I know better. Some of the best conversations and most useful discoveries happen when we see things differently. So please, disagree with me!
Will you tell me what to do?
Probably not, even if you really wish I would!
I believe you’re the expert in your own life. You know your experiences, your circumstances and what matters to you better than anyone else. That doesn’t mean you always have the answers ready. Sometimes they’re buried under worries, expectations or other people’s opinions. My role is to help you find your own way, rather than tell you which way is the right one.
What if I feel worse after a session?
It doesn’t always happen, but it can.
Talking about difficult things can bring up feelings that have been pushed aside for a long time, and sometimes those feelings linger after a session. We’ll pay attention to how our work is affecting you and talk about anything that feels difficult. We can also work on developing ways to manage those feelings and build your confidence and resilience in dealing with difficult times.
The aim isn’t to make you feel worse, and we don’t have to push through things just for the sake of it.
What if counselling isn’t helping?
Then it’s important that we talk about it.
I believe we need to regularly look at how our work is going, whether it’s meeting your needs and whether we’re moving towards what you hoped to get from counselling.
Sometimes we need to change direction or reconsider how we’re working. Sometimes a different approach or another therapist might be more helpful.
I want you to feel able to say when something isn’t working, so we can think about the next steps together and you can make an informed decision about what’s right for you.
Do you have another quesion?
Don’t be afraid to ask! I’d love to hear from you.